DISCLAIMER: This will probably bore you unless you are Sarah Oliver 20+ years older reading this someday. Well, maybe there will be something half interesting in here. Here is what going from a family of 3 to a family of 4 has taught me (so far!)
#1. Perfectionism does not, can not, and will not exist. ESPECIALLY if you are a Type A, neurotic perfectionist like myself. God has taught me through my two children to stop trying to be perfect in an imperfect world. There is only so much of each of us to go around, and yes it is OKAY to allow the house to become messy when that time is being put into teaching Grace, "Mamamamamamamama," or playing make pretend fire station with Ryder. Does it drive me bonkers that my house is not the spotless house it once was? Absolutely. But you know what? My kids are not going to remember those extra crumbs on the floor. They are going to remember their parents getting down on the floor and PLAYING with them.
#2. Our most precious asset is NOT money. It is time. Ryder and Grace are growing quickly, and there is nothing we can do to stop the clock. Don't get me wrong, there have been occasions I wanted to speed up the clock on those days it seemed all THREE of us Aries just weren't having a good day. But all it takes is having to clean out their closets every couple of months to realize that we are only given so many hours each day, so we better make it count.
#3. The sibling connection is a beautiful thing to witness. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know...Ryder's not at "that age" yet where he might think about pulling Grace's hair, and Grace is not at "that age" where she will probably fight back. But as for now, Grace has one very favorite person, and it is not me or Kelsey. He's about 3 feet tall, 2 and a half years old, and he keeps her very entertained. Her face lights up when he's around, and there truly is a special bond between these two.
#4. It's okay to feel like a complete disaster. Actually, I think it may be okay to downright BE a complete disaster. I don't mean in the sense of not taking care of Ryder and Grace, but I am certain that most times I am quite disorganized. Is there a such thing as a mother of 2 who feels organized? I don't know...but what I DO know is it's part of the whole letting go of control thing...and learning to be ok with it.
#5. Identity becomes much more apparent as a mother of 2. I teach yoga and pilates and coach athletes part time. And don't get me wrong, I love it. And when I had just Ryder, it was a way to somewhat fill that tiny void that existed when I left the corporate world. And I still will continue to do these things because I love it and let's be honest, it brings in a little extra moola. But where I WANT to be more than anywhere else these days is with my children. I want to BE THERE for them, and selfishly, they are there for me in a unique way too. And I am at peace with saying what I "do" is stay home with my kids. Beyond at peace, proud to say it. Now before you working moms get your pants in a tizzy, I am NOT saying that going back to work is wrong or less honorable. That in and of itself is what makes you mamas what I like to refer to as "Superwoman." No joke. This is not about you-you are amazing beings that manage to raise kids AND work AND keep it together. This is about me making peace with the decision I have made to stay home, and that has been a long internal battle I have struggled with.
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